After every winter sleep comes a slow awakening. New rays of light penetrate shyly through the bare branches of the trees. A little more and the first buds on them will open a new life and release juices ready to sprout in the new branches.
I slept a long winter's sleep. Lulled in the softest quilts woven from everything I've wanted for a long time: sourdough bread, fragrant cakes, rustling quilts on cold and gray mornings, the smell spreading from the diffuser and from the coffee machine, early morning (not too early) baked waffles and pancakes, children's laughter and sleepy steps, hours and hours of yoga right at dawn, meditations, songs, podcasts, books, series, movies,... with all that, I didn't sleep unaware of what was around me, I was in it at every moment.
I understood the meaning of training the brain for new ideas, routines, skills, I understood how much effort is needed to get to this now: being in the moment unencumbered by what was and what is yet to come. I slept slowed down from my movement, experiencing and enjoying the last years of travel. I have enjoyed this sleep with equal intensity and passion for the last 6 months.
We returned from Mexico to Denmark at the beginning of September 2022. To the house we left to return to, we returned to leave it forever. After 14 intense days of cleaning, discarding and packing, we moved into the house we left exactly 4 years ago to start a different life. Like the sun at its zenith, we came full circle and returned to our starting point completely changed.
Life is sometimes really funny and gives you what you least expect as if it mocks you and brings back in your face everything you were blind to so that you finally open your eyes and see that you actually have everything you've been looking for all this time right where you are .
We didn't come back home, we came back to ourselves.
Where we are now and where we were have remained the same. And so, at the end of September, we sailed into the calm waters of the slow life that we missed in moving from place to place.
With peace in our hearts and primordial longing, we could reflect on what was. And there was so much that cannot be named and documented outside of our own experiences and memories.
I'm happy here where I am. It took me time to admit to myself and others that this is also good enough and sufficient for everything we need.
The children found peace in the daily rhythm of repeating what they were missing. I have found peace within myself, the one changed and grounded in my own existence. It took me these 6 months and the coming ones to be in a somewhat boring rhythm that provides me with everything I love and want: time for myself, time for those I love the most, time for projects (minimum of them), time for dreams and planning, for socializing, for growth and development invisible from the outside.
And now the circular, cyclical movement of life, repetition, shifts have become clearer to me: from the autumn of peace to the complete darkness and silence of winter to the spring in which I stretch my sleeping wings and sow some new ideas into the world until the summer in which they will shine in in all its glory. I feel it, how everything is slowly coming to its place, sent from a place where everything is actually already in place.
I have been working for the last few months on accepting that rhythm, on waking up early at dawn where I continued to diligently train my thoughts, body and psyche in my own rhythm. I worked on myself through new projects, through the yoga classes I gave to others, through the ceremonies I held, through the ideas I recorded, through the conversations I had (what with myself, what with others) and I came to know that it is good, whether you move or stand still: it's good.
The house gave us a safe base for this vacation, calm and perspective. She gave us the peace we need to renew ourselves and feel what to do next, to remember where we are and where we are going. And here we are: half a year later, still in the same place, ready to move a little more at this slowed pace. My new page is in the process of being created and renovated and it will soon show all that I am ready to offer the world: new projects, collaborations, upcoming cocoa ceremonies and 1:1 work.
In addition, the next 6-8 months will be preparation for the next trip: the one to Southeast Asia and the much-desired exploration of Vietnam, Thailand and Japan - but that's just the beginning, as usual, we don't have a scheduled return date, so we don't have a full plan of all destinations. But with the newly acquired self-confidence and faith that exactly what we wish for will be fulfilled, I know that it will be just as we want it.
Until then, with an awakened desire to write, I will continue to share sketches from the life we live: together, through homeschooling, personal projects and what occupies me at the moment. I believe that there will be enough content for everyone's taste.
Stay close.
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